So, I tried to read “50 Shades of Grey” this weekend, but every time Anastasia said “Oh My” (which was like, 2-3 times PER PAGE), I couldn’t help but imagine George Takei saying “Oh Myyyyyy”. By page 12, I imagined everything Anastasia said was said in George Takei’s voice. By page 15, I just imagined George Takei was Anastasia. I had to give up somewhere around page 17, because Christian has started to sound and look like William Shatner/Captain Kirk circa ST:TOS, and after that, I imagined everyone wearing Enterprise uniforms, and there was no way the story was going come back from that.
I didn’t even make it to any of the sex scenes.